My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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