Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
