My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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