everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
