I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
