I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
