I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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