How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
