hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
