Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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