Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
