there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
