I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
