I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
