Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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