LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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