There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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