ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
