you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
