she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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