I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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