i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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