He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Even my vagina gasped.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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