are you still at the devil's house?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
