I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I want a musical about memes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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