who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
so much tequila, so little girl.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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