So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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