just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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