Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had sex on a roof
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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