I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
