Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
