Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
