there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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