So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
