I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no you cant smoke seaweed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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