You're completely useless in the revolution.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
