I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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