Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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