you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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