names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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