Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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