i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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