The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
