Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
