we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
