you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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