normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize