i think my mom watched the whole time
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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