It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
