If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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