She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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