My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
