The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
