I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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