he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
