Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
operation have a gay friend backfired
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
