I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
