Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
