Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize