and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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