i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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